His Ghost
by Haleybug52
Summary: After ten years, his ghost has come back to haunt him, and he doesn't know if it's in a good way or a bad way...
1. Chapter 1

His Ghost

**Okay, so a big THANKS goes to my Econ teacher, because without his boring lecture on supply and demand (that somehow went into the topic of food) I probably would not have written this. So thanks for that.**

**I would also like to point out that this is indeed about Callen. It is from the time when he was at the CIA and fell in love with his partner who is unfortunately dead and how he feels about the whole thing now, after ten years.**

**Disclaimer: Although it does not specify who he or she is, it is about Callen and so therefore, I sadly do not own him…**

The nightmares woke him every night like they had for the past ten years. He didn't even know if he could call them nightmares, when they were also considered dreams. They were dreams because she hadn't been there, holding his hand and talking to him while he lay in the hospital after receiving five bullets to the chest. They were nightmares because she would never be able to hold his hand, or whisper sweet words in his ear again, or tell him that she loved him. She was dead, and there was nothing he could do to bring her back.

He replayed that day, ten years ago, in the dark streets of Moscow, Russia, over and over again in his head until he would see blurs. He desperately didn't want it to be real, it didn't want to think that it had actually happened, that he had left Moscow without her by his side, laughing and joking, saying that they had saved the world once again.

He didn't want to think about the funeral that had followed his completion of the mission in Moscow; he didn't want his heart to be nearly ripped out of his chest as they lowered her casket into the ground next to her mother and father. He didn't want her name to be one of the 102 stars that lined the wall at the agency along with her father's saying that she had died protecting her country just as he had. He didn't want her words to flow through his head saying that she would follow in her father's footsteps. He knew she would, he just didn't want hers to end like her father's had.

Replaying it over and over again in his head did nothing to comfort him. He always thought about the _what if's_. _What if I had gotten there sooner? What if I had told her to let me handle this on my own? What if I told her to leave Moscow when she could? What if I had told her I loved her? _

He had never told her he loved her, after six years of being with her, those three simple words had never left his mouth, and now, he would always be haunted with the fact. He would always wonder if she felt the same way, and why hadn't they given it a chance. They were just three simple words, and now they would always haunt him, forever.

She had her whole life ahead of her, she was young, beautiful, and talented at what she did, anyone with a pair of eyes could have seen that. He knew that if she hadn't of been taken by six bullets to the chest, she would be something great.

The picture in his wallet of her had seen better days, much better days, but no matter how hard he tried, he could never get rid of it. The worn creases from the folds of the wallet were there, visible to everyone else but him. To anyone else, it was just a photograph of a pretty face that had seen better days, but he never saw them; all he saw was her beautiful ocean blue eyes and sunny smile.

Everything that had been hers was packed in a few boxes and put in storage. She hadn't had any family left; she had no one who would have missed any of it, except him. On the anniversary of her death, he would take out the boxes and go through them, one by one, and after ten years, he knew everything that was in them. He didn't have to have his eyes open to know exactly what it all was. Photographs of her, her mom and dad. Photographs of him and her. Her badge and gun. Little things that had meant something special to her, but nothing to him. They were a part of her, and that was all that mattered.

Some nights he thinks he's gone crazy, delusional even, seeing her when she's not really there. She couldn't be, she's gone, nothing but a ghost of a memory. Every time though, every time he thinks he sees her, something flows through him like electricity and he can't help but wonder what it could have been like if she had survived, if Moscow had never happened.

When the morning comes though, his delusional thoughts always vanish as he gets up to start another day. As he heads off to work, and looks out at the ocean, he thinks of her ocean blue eyes and sunny blonde hair.

She was nothing but a ghost when she was alive, vanishing at any given moment when needed, and she is nothing but a ghost now, gone from everyone's thoughts but his.

He smiles, because that's just the way he wants it to be.

She was his ghost, and he was hers.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, so I let my best friend, who we lovingly call Caitlin Todd, read this and she told me that I needed to continue, **_**and **_**write another chapter for her to read tonight, so I did. Hope this lives up to your expectations Todd **

**Disclaimer: I sadly, do not own G Callen, but I do own **_**her**_**. You just don't know who she is yet **

It happened once again, but this time, it wasn't like normal, where he only saw and thought of her at night, this, this was broad daylight, and he was sure that they would have him carted off to a mental institution for sure if they found out what he thought he saw.

It wasn't the replay of watching her take six bullets to the chest; it wasn't her smile, or her blue eyes that filled his memory. It was her laugh.

Her laugh that he hadn't heard in nearly ten years anywhere except in his dreams. Her laugh that rang out like bells, her laugh that made him feel whole inside and that broke down the walls that surrounded his heart completely without even trying. He didn't hear it in his mind, or in his nightmares and dreams, he heard it right across the street.

He didn't care if he nearly killed himself while trying to desperately get to the sound, he didn't care that more than a few cars had to slam on the brakes and swerve to keep from hitting him, all he cared about was getting to her. His partner was yelling his name, telling him to stop before he got himself killed, but _he didn't care. _She was close, he could feel it, he could _hear _it, and after ten years, he _needed _it.

Once across the street he stopped, desperately searching for her laugh again, amongst the large sea of people. He took off running, knowing that his partner was right on his heels, wondering why the hell he was acting like this, but he still didn't care. He just wanted to get to her.

He followed the echo of her laugh, the sound teasing and playing with him until it stopped, and when it did, he did as well. He then began searching the crowd for those familiar ocean blue eyes. And that's when it happened.

That's when he saw her.

Alive, with ocean blue eyes dancing, a grin tugging at the corners of her mouth.

And just as quickly as she was there, she was gone.

Nothing but a ghost again.

Nothing but _his _ghost again.

He knew he couldn't explain what just happened to his partner, or anyone else, not even their fearless leader who understood everything. She was his ghost, and his ghost only.

It was impossible though, she was dead, she couldn't be _here, alive. _He had watched her take her last breath, he had watched the light die from her eyes. He had watched as they lowered her casket in the ground, burying her, and everything that was her, forever.

Maybe, after all the years of grief, pain, and heartache, he w_as _delusional.

He heard his partner, asking him what happened back there, but he didn't explain, didn't know how to explain, he just kept walking.

As he walked away he heard a familiar voice floating along in the wind say softly "Don't forget me, G".

He smiled, knowing that he was the only one who had heard the voice.

"I won't" he promised softly, a hint of a smile the old G Callen use to have.

Back before everything went wrong.

Back before his partner, and the woman he loved became nothing but a ghost.


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's the third chapter, because my friend a.k.a Todd has told me that I have to **_**at least **_**have two chapters done each day. Not sure how long this is going to be, but here it is.**

**I would also like to give a big thanks to all my teachers who unknowingly contributed when they gave boring lectures today, (mostly my Econ teacher), and Todd because, well she, and I quote, "is in love with this story", and for being the number one fan and having a lot more faith in this than I did when I first started.**

**Also, a big thanks to all those who reviewed, favorited, and alerted this story, it means a lot. So without any further rambling, here's the third chapter. **

Chapter Three:

A day off would be good for him, even he knew that. He could clear his head, get things straight, but he knew it would be nearly impossible,

Even with the sound of the waves crashing on the shore around him, something that usually comforted him, he thought about her. No matter how hard he tried not to, and that's what made him buy the plane ticket to Washington D.C.

He rented a car and headed towards Virginia, to the place he hadn't been in ten years. Ever since they lowered her casket into the ground, burying her forever. Her grave.

Walking across the grass to the plot he would never forget, his eyes ran over two headstones. One for her mother. One for her father. Then, his eyes wandered to the shiny black headstone.

_Reagan Thomas  
>Beloved Daughter, Partner, and Friend<br>July 23, 1976-February 9, 2002_

He sat down beside the headstone and closed his eyes. A cool, gentle breeze blew across his face and he smiled, opening his eyes.

"What took you so long G?" asked a voice and he turned to look beside him.

His breath caught in his throat like it did every time he saw her. A small smile played on her lips, ocean blue eyes shining, her blonde hair dancing in the wind, dressed in a simple white dress.

"I've been busy" he answered slowly and her laugh rang out and filled the air.

She nudged him playfully. "Face it G, you were scared to come see me."

He looked away and he felt her grab his hand. He turned back to her and saw a small smile on her face. "It's okay G" she said.

They sat in silence for a while, looking out at the sky meeting the horizon. Then he turned to look at her.

"Why weren't you there? Waiting for me?" he asked and he saw her look back out at the horizon.

He had always thought that she would be there, waiting for him on the other side when he died, but when he laid in the hospital, nearly dying, she wasn't there, and that hurt him almost as bad as watching her casket get lowered into the ground.

She turned back to look at him. "You had a choice to make. You weren't ready to go, I could see that. That's why you lived, because of your will. If you would have been ready, to leave this all behind, then I would have been waiting for you" she answered.

"I needed you there" he whispered.

"If I would have been there you would have chosen to stay with me, you know that. I couldn't influence your decision G, you had to make it on your own" she said.

"A lot of things have happened since you…" he couldn't bear to say the word. Then he would have to face the fact that she was really and truly gone. She seemed to sense this and remained quiet before saying softly "I know".

He looked at her curiously and she gave him a smile. "I have always been with you Callen, whether you knew it or not, I've been with you through it all".

"Why haven't you helped me?" he asked.

Her laughter filled the air and rang out like clear bells. "Help? How can I help Callen? When I'm…" she gestured over her shoulders towards the headstone bearing her name. She didn't want to say it either.

"Why haven't you moved on?" he asked.

She let a small, sad smile cross her features. "I've done things Callen, bad things that won't get me to Heaven, good things that won't get me to Hell, so I'm here, in the middle of Heaven and Hell" she answered.

"Will I?" he asked.

She took his hand again. "Let's not think about that now. You have plenty of time before you end up like me" she said.

Standing up, she cupped his cheek in her hand and lightly pressed her lips to his forehead before starting to walk away, despite his protests. She turned back around to look at him, ocean blue eyes shining, a smile on her lips.

"Don't worry G, I'll be back soon, just don't wait ten more years to visit me" she said and walked away, disappearing into the air.

She was nothing but a ghost again.

Nothing but _his _ghost again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's the second chapter of the day. This is for you Todd, because the "monster" needs to be settled down until tomorrow.**

Chapter Four:

He didn't know when she was going to come back, he just knew that she would. Reagan Thomas always kept her promises.

Staying in Washington D.C., or even Virginia, meant the possibility of running into someone that he knew, or even worse, someone that he knew because of her. He didn't want that, so shortly after visiting her grave, he got on a plane and headed back to Los Angeles.

A week after he got back, after a hard day filled with murdered Marines and explosions, it was time to go home, and maybe get some rest, but she wasn't going to let that happen. No matter how hard he tried to block her out of his thoughts, he couldn't. She was there permanently, and she wasn't going to leave.

As he walked along the beach that night, after hours of tossing and turning in bed, the cool breeze blew around him, and the waves crashed comfortingly against the shore. Sitting down in the cool sand, he looked out at the ocean.

"Thinking again G? Don't you know that doesn't always work out for you?" that all too familiar voice called out filled with her usual teasing tone.

He turned to where the sound of the voice came from. He couldn't help but smile as she walked towards him, confident in her steps, a small smile on her face, ocean blue eyes shining brightly. She sat down in the sand beside him and he said with a grin, "I think I'll be safe on this one, considering she never leaves my mind".

"Lucky girl" she said placing her arms on her knees as she looked out at the ocean along with him.

"That she was" he said, never taking his eyes off her. She turned to look at him with a knowing smile.

"It's time you more on G, have a family of your own" she said softly and slowly.

"I have a family" he pointed out, thinking about Hetty, who was the mother-figure of their dysfunctional family. Sam, the big brother who always looked out for him. Kensi, the little sister he always wanted to protect. Deeks, the annoying little brother who would never shut up. Eric, the nerdy little brother who never strayed far from his computer, and Nell, the little sister who's quick wit and sharp tongue could get her into trouble in less than a minute. _They _were his family.

Reagan shook her head, looking at him sadly. "You know what I mean G. Get married, have a few kids of your own, that kind of family" she said.

"That's hard to do when you don't know who your own family is" he pointed out to her.

"Don't worry, you'll get your answers one day" she promised, and he looked at her curiously. She just smiled that little mysterious smile she always gave when she knew something that he didn't, and that she wasn't going to tell him.

She stood up, looking out at the ocean. "We never got to say what we wanted to say to each other did we?" she asked turning back to look at him.

"No, we didn't" he answered softly. She gave him another small sad smile.

"See you around G" she said before she started to walk off. He looked away for a moment, out at the ocean, and thought of her beautiful ocean blue eyes, and whispered "I love you Reagan", but when he turned back to the direction where she had walked off too, she was gone.

He wasn't sure if she had heard him, but he was sure that she was just a ghost again.

His ghost, riding along with the wind.


	5. Chapter 5

**So I finished the last three chapters of this story. My friend told me I had to post these, so I can start working on her other story, so I figured I should get on it since I already had these typed up..**

He knew they were getting worried about him that much he could tell from the looks on their faces. He didn't mean to worry them, but...he couldn't bear the thought of going through the day without seeing her, even if it was only a brief glimpse.

It gave him reassurance that she was still there, with him.

In a way, he was surprised to see her here, and in a way he wasn't.

"Waiting on me?" he asked as he sat down in the sand beside her. She gave him a small smile before putting her chin back on her knees. He knew she was deep in thought, the tip of her tongue was peeking out the corner of her mouth, like it use to when she was deep in thought, as she looked out at the ocean.

"Rea, what's going on?" he asked, starting to get concerned from the silence that was around them.

She gave him a small smile, "Nothing G, just thinking" she replied.

Silence wrapped around them again, and then Reagan sighed, and pushed herself up off the sand and started to walk, but he knew that she wasn't disappearing this time, she wanted him to follow. So he did.

"Do you trust them?" she asked suddenly as they walked. Callen looked at her confused, and then looked in the direction that she had tilted her head in. Squinting against the bright light of the sun, he then made out the shapes of his partner, Kensi, Deeks, Eric, Nell, and Hetty, further along the beach in the opposite direction.

"With my life" he answered automatically.

Reagan laughed, and then began to walk in the opposite direction of his team. "You trust them to have your back, G, but do you trust them with _your past?_" she asked turning her head to look at him.

"I don't even know my own past" he pointed out as they walked.

"Do you trust them with the part that you trusted me with?" she asked, and Callen didn't know what to say to that. She caught him off guard.

A smirk crossed her lips. "That's what I thought".

As they walked she took his hand and he felt her warmth. "Callen, you say they're your family, but you don't even trust them with the little bits and pieces of your life you know about. That's a little strange, don't you think, to hide everything from your family?" she asked.

"I can't lose another person I care about…" he said, and then mentally added, _Like I lost you._

"Everyone loses people they care about Callen, it's a part of life" she replied before letting go of his hand and he knew that she was pulling another of her disappearing acts.

She began walking down the beach, in the way that they had come. She turned back around, her fair flying over her shoulders, glistening when the sun rays caught it in the light just right.

"They're good for you G, don't push them away, they're the only family you have left now that I'm gone" she said before walking down the beach, the sun's rays blending around her, and then, she was gone, disappearing with the golden light that floated along the beach.

A ghost…

His ghost…


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, so after this there is only one more chapter. Hope it's good.**

This time, he found her on the pier, and something wasn't right. The smile she usually wore was replaced with a saddened look as she looked out at the ocean. He listened to the wave's crash against the shore, the seagulls shrieking from high in the sky, and yet she still remained quiet.

"What's wrong?" he finally asked.

"Did they ever find my killer?" she finally asked.

His hands clenched tightly, knuckles turning white. His face hardened as he thought about the Russian arms dealer who had put six bullets in her chest. They had never found him, no matter how hard he had looked.

"No…" he said quietly. She gave him a sad smile.

"It wasn't your fault G" she said quietly placing a hand over his.

"I should have been there to help you" he said, finally getting the words out, the words that had been eating a hole inside him for over ten years. The guilt that had been eating at him for the past ten years.

"I thought I could handle it on my own, I thought I was my father, I shouldn't have left without backup" she answered looking out at the ocean.

She turned to look at him, "G, you need to move on, let go of the guilt that's been eating away at you for so long. You deserve to be happy, to be free" she said.

"If I let go I'll lose you" he said cupping her cheek, finally putting words into his unspoken fears. He didn't want to lose her, he couldn't lose her. She was his everything, the thing that kept him going.

She let out a short laugh, "You'll never lose me G, my heart belongs to you" she said placing his hand above her heart, where he could, in fact, feel the beating of her heart. This confused him, she was supposed to be dead, she shouldn't have a heartbeat.

He wanted to ask her what was going on, but she was smiling that smile again, the one that said she knew something he didn't, but wasn't going to say a word. The sun began to sink over the horizon, and she looked out at it, and then back at him, sadness written over her face.

"I have to go now Callen" she said softly, and his heart felt like it was getting ripped out of his chest. He knew what she was saying, she wasn't talking about her little disappearing acts, she was talking about leaving. Forever.

"No…" he whispered, begging her to stay with him, with his eyes, his voice.

She kissed him lightly, and then looked into his eyes. "Goodbye G, don't pull away from them. You finally found your family. I love you" she said.

With that, she started walking down the pier.

"Reagan! No! Stop!" he shouted running after her, but as he ran, he knew it was too late. She was gone.

The worst part, he didn't know if she knew that he loved her.

Her ghost was gone. Forever.

Then everything became a bright light.


	7. The End

**Okay here's the ending, I hope it makes sense, and lives up to what an ending should be considering this is my shortest story to date.**

He woke with a start, and all he saw was bright lights everywhere. Lights shined in his face, hands grasped him, faces swam in his vision, some he recognized, some he didn't.

All he could think about what finding _hers _though. She was there, he knew she was. She _had to be._

Moments later the lights and the many different faces were replaced with one. One he knew all too well. Henrietta Lange.

"Welcome back Mr. Callen" she said.

He barely heard her; he was searching for that face, searching for those ocean blue eyes that had been there with him.

"Mr. Callen, are you listening to me?" Hetty asked, but he wasn't listening. All he could think about was her. He needed her there, with him.

Ignoring Hetty's protest, he quickly got out of the bed that he had been in, walking swiftly towards the door. Throwing it open he then headed down the hallway. "Reagan!" he shouted, and when he didn't get an answer, he began to get worried.

Frantically running down the hallway, calling her name, he dodged past nurses, ignored Hetty, and his partner's calls for him to come back. Somehow he managed to find his way out of the sterile white building.

He felt strong hands grip his shoulders as he stumbled along, and he was turned around and met the concerned brown eyes of his partner. Behind him were Hetty, Kensi, Deeks, Eric, and Nell. They all wore matching concerned expressions. Then his eyes slid away from them all and continued to search for her, desperately trying to hear her laugh, or catch a glimpse of her.

He tried to get out of his partners grip, but his hands only tightened around his shoulders. "Tell me where she is, please Sam, I need her" he begged looking at his partner.

"Who G? Who do you need?" his partner asked, confusion written deep on his face.

"Reagan, Sam, CIA agent Reagan Thomas, she was _just here._ I talked to her a few minutes ago, please Sam, _where is she?" _he asked, anguish written all over his face as he frantically looked around the parking lot that they were in searching for her.

Realization dawned on his partners face, and Sam's face was then replaced by Hetty. A look of sadness was written on her face.

"Mr. Callen…" she started.

"Hetty, I don't have time for this! If I don't find her she'll leave! She hasn't heard me tell her I love her, she needs to hear it Hetty" he said looking at the woman he had always thought of as a mother, desperation in his voice.

Hetty gently took his hand and looked him in the eye. "Mr. Callen, Reagan Thomas has been dead for ten years, she's buried in Virginia, next to her mother and father. _You _buried her" she said softly, and everything clicked into place.

The world nearly came crashing down, confusion swept over him.

"What's going on?" he whispered.

"G, you've been in a coma for three months, a car accident, you were chasing after someone you said killed your old partner. Someone who you said killed Reagan Thomas" Sam said.

...

It was all a dream, an illusion.

He sat in the hospital room later that day, and listened as the doctor explained that what he had saw, what had happened, him seeing Reagan, was an illusion, that none of it had been real, that is was all in his mind. The reason he had saw her while comatose was because seeing her killer had brought back the memories of her, she hadn't really been there.

He passed all the psychological tests, his CAT scans, everything came back clean, and he was sent back to work weeks later.

The man who had killed Reagan was dead; he died in the crash that had left Callen in a coma. He felt some satisfaction out of it, the man who had taken the woman he loved away from him was gone.

There was also the disappointment. The disappointment that everything, the talks, the touches, everything that concerned Reagan was nothing but his imagination. He wanted it to be real.

He looked at the picture that was in his wallet, the creases were now visible, but her beauty remained.

She wasn't his ghost anymore, she was just a memory.

His memory…


End file.
